My immediate thought? Fuck you.
Why can't I (and all of us "lucky" ladies) be strong too? I may have the body you want, but that's not my fault. Maybe I am lucky, but don't deny me strength--physically or mentally. Don't ever deny me strength because I put up with pins like this, comments like this, and magazine articles like this every day, AND I work out and attempt to eat right, AND I'm not perfect. Obviously. I have a blog almost solely dedicated to baking, but I'm still skinny... and yes, I eat what I bake. The thought of not doing so is absolutely ridiculous! But I digress. I also have heart disease. It runs in my family, and despite my skinny, I haven't avoided it. So, work out I must, and strength I gain AND earn.
I may not deal with what you, the not-skinny person deals with, but I deal with body image issues and criticism too. I have neither ass nor tits, and I would like them very much. But alas, I will never have them. And that's okay. I've come to terms with my body (on most days!). What I have not come to terms with is the criticism. I did not pick my body. So stop telling me I'm "too skinny" or anorexic. And for the love of God, stop telling me I'm lucky. I fucking know that. Rather than tear me down, let me enjoy my body. Besides, once I have kids it's probably going to Hell in a hand basket. So, let me enjoy it. Let me keep my strength. Encourage me to continue my battle with the bastard that is cholesterol. And in return I will continue to not judge you because it's rude, unnecessary, a big fucking waste of time, and quite frankly, against my feminist and equality for all values.
Bottom line: Stop tearing other women down because we can't be truly strong if we continue to sling insults or backhanded encouragement/insults and (or in case you have a strange distaste for women's equality) because it's just plain mean.
Namaste?
I really appreciate this post. I've struggled with my weight all my life (about which this post has inspired me to consider writing my own entry) and it really wasn't until the past couple years (after I'd lost a significant amount of weight) that I realized heavier individuals aren't the only ones who suffer from insecurities or social stigma. As fat-positive and fat-acceptance discourse becomes more prevalent in our society it comes as no surprise to me that "thinness" or being "skinny" is being dismissed or disparaged as somehow...less "real" or less "womanly" or a matter of genes.
ReplyDeleteI think health and moderation is beautiful. From what I've read, you lead a very healthy and active life with purpose, yet you don't disallow indulging every now and then (which I approve!). Your genes are a part of you, but they are not who you are. They don't define you as a person. I'm sorry that others have made you feel inadequate by their snarky comments or backhanded compliments. I think you look fit and fine, girl! And I know you work to maintain that. Many people are so uncomfortable in their skin and know no other way of coping but invalidating other lifestyles or body types with their words. It's not right. And nobody deserves be on the receiving end of that trash.
I think you hit the nail on the head when you point out that women tear other women down. Women should to stick together and stand up for each other. There are so many varied and beautiful bodies and minds that we can harness for the greater good of one another and the world, instead of pulling others down on our way to climb up.
I wish I could hit like.
ReplyDeleteP.S.
I love that you used the word discourse. I haven't heard it since grad school!
Haha! Aw, I'm so glad. Words are wonderful. It's good to know and use them all!
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