I haven't posted much lately, and when I have it's been on my baking blog. I've just been overwhelmed. I don't know how many times I've thought, "Oh, I should blog about this," but I watched reruns of Law and Order instead. It's not that I don't want to write... it's time consuming, and sometimes I don't know how to say what I want to say. I know, I know. The best way to figure that out is to start writing, but you have to admit it can be a daunting task. I've been thinking about this one for awhile... it may piss some people off, but right now I don't care.
Stop telling me I'm too skinny. It's getting really fucking old. There. I said it. Some of you love me. Some of you like me. Some of you may have seen me on the street and only thought it. To all of you, please stop. I'm self-conscious enough. I'm sick of wondering if so and so thought I ate enough or if Jane from down the street thinks I'm too skinny, or worse, anorexic.
This is me. My doctor's think I'm healthy, except the lady who knew I had a period yet still asked me if I was anorexic... I know right? Anyway. My mom thinks I'm just fine. And trust me, if I wasn't, she'd tell me! Right mom? If she's reading this, she's probably nodding in agreement (and also shaking her head at my blatant honesty and use of the f-bomb in the previous paragraph... love you mom!). I've always been skinny, except for my toddler years. Believe it or not, I had those classic chubby cheeks.
Although not seen here (I think my mom has the classic chubby Julie photo.), I had chubby legs to match! But then I lost my baby fat... and I became a gymnast who ate Arby's twice a week before practice (Don't tell LeRoy!). God. I hope my years of tumbling and working out counteracted that bad habit! Seriously. Heart disease runs in my family... both sides. I haven't escaped it either. My cholesterol is a touch high, and I'm not at all proud to admit it. I'm going on twenty-six, I have high cholesterol, and I wear bifocals (They're actually progressives, but still.).
I may not be able to fix my eyes, but I can fix this body--inside and out. And, no, this is not me admitting I'm too skinny. This is me telling you I don't need a cupcake or more Don Taco-- I think twice a week is enough! I need some spinach, and I need to figure out which high-calorie yet good for me snack this picky palate likes. My new-found love of organic, local fruit will not be my savior. It will help! But I need something else... perhaps I need to learn to eat things I don't like. I've already discovered a love for green beans and blueberries. Maybe something else will find it's way to me... any suggestions? I don't like the texture of nuts (insert your joke here). I'm lactose intolerant so adding more dairy to my diet is out of the question. I over indulge as it is... thank God for Lactaid!
So, if you think I'm too skinny, I'm sorry? Not really. Go ahead and think it. Just stop telling me. Please. This is me.
Which you might... I make some goofy faces!
But if you take me... I'm like Calista Flockhart. I came this way, and there's nothing I can do about it except pop out a child and forever ruin my naturally thin stature and awesome metabolism. And that's not happening for awhile. So let me enjoy this gift while I have it.
If you really want me to eat that cupcake, I totally will. I'd prefer some cookies, but if all you have is a cupcake, I'll take it. As long as there's no coconut or fruit or nuts not in the form of peanut butter involved. Same goes for the cookies. Oh, and no oats!