So I was browsing through my Facebook feed, prepping for a wicked nap. But then I came across an article about being undateable, and it enraged me. So much so that I couldn't nap. According to Ashley Fern, "being single in your twenties is currently some sort of epidemic that comes without explanation." What. The. Fuck.
Being single is totes cool. If anyone tells you otherwise, fuck them. But that doesn't mean being non-single is uncool. At all. Especially when your seventeen reasons for being single totally fucking suck. Fern says her reasons are "possibly satirical." What the fuck does that even mean? Either they are satirical, or they aren't! You can't have it both fucking ways. Satire and no satire may be one of the only true binaries in existence.
So here are Fern's seventeen reasons... except instead of making me undateable, they make me fucking awesome and/or my husband fucking awesome:
1. I'd rather stay in than go out. I binge watch Netflix with my husband. Sometimes I binge watch it by myself. How scandalous!
2. I'm old, so I hardly ever go out. But when I do, I PARTY. And you know who is semi-cool with it? My hubster. Why? Because he's not a fucking dick. The semi is only there because he loves me, and he doesn't want me to have a hangover because hangovers suck donkey balls.
3. Fern says she is undateable because she doesn't want to meet your family. Dude. That just means you're like everyone else in the world. I love my in-laws, but I wasn't exactly "Yay! Jeff, I want to meet your family! They're going to love me and my weirdness and my cursing and all my other baggage!"
4. I wasn't excited to introduce Jeff to my family. It's no that I'm ashamed of my family, but we have our quirks. So again, just like every other human being, I was nervous about Jeff meeting my family. Why? Because families are weird. They interrogate the hell out your new mate. Granted it's to ensure he or she is truly worthy of joining the family and its unique but cool weirdness.
5. Fern says she can't commit to what she wants for lunch which therefore means she should be alone. Major fucking slippery slope. I can commit to what I want for lunch because I order the same fucking thing... if you can get me to commit to a restaurant. I still got married though. Committing to Jeff and committing to food are super different. Life partner does not equal (is not even similar to) food. This is where Jeff being awesome comes into play-- he puts up with my indecisiveness!
6. I love having the bed all to myself. But we own cats so it's never going to happen. BUT. Fern wants the bed all to herself so she can use half of it for sleep and half of it for laundry. Get a chair for that shit. If you have a bed all to yourself, enjoy the fuck out of it. Don't sully it with laundry! Seriously. That's why people started putting fucking chairs in their bedrooms. For unfolded laundry!
7. I love my best friend (What up, bestie?!). But that never stopped me from dating. Seriously. I don't get this one. How can you love your best friend so much that you have no more room for romantic love? Satire or not, this one makes no fucking sense.
8. I don't tolerate bullshit. Why would anyone tolerate bullshit? I know dating can be filled with bullshit, but that's why you dump assholes and bitches, and marry the good ones, a la Jeff. Also, if, like Fern, you think understanding and patience are bullshit concepts, you're a moron who's handing out your own brand of bullshit. Or we just took a giant U-turn into Fern satire.
9. Sometimes I'd rather hang out with my guy friends. My bestie is a dude. Most of my friends have been/are dudes. Why? I have no idea, but it's not because there's less drama. Guys are some of the most dramatic creatures I've met-- which to Fern's credit, she kind of admits, but then she says, "Boyfriends who let the girl wear the pants in the relationship can be even worse." Dude. It's not 19-fucking-50 anymore. Also, who's to say the people reading your article/blog-thing want a man. Maybe they date chicks.
10. I have trust issues. And Jeff understands that about me because he's awesomesauce.
11. I have an unhealthy relationship with Netflix. I believe this was covered in the first reason. Why we must repeat it, I don't know. But we did. So who cares that I watch a shit ton of Netflix? Jeff doesn't care. He teases me, but we pay for it. So I'm going to fucking use it.
11a. Fern didn't have an 11a, but my God, she has shitty reasons for not dating, and it's really fucking grating on my nerves.
12. Fern's after-work schedule doesn't allow for a relationship. I don't get it. You had time to write a shitty fucking article about being undateable. I think you have time to date.
13. Fern may have finally figured out how to be slightly satirical. Romantic notions make her want to vomit, but she also bitches about wanting someone tall, dark, and handsome. So either she's going for satire at this point, or she's really fucking confused. P.S. I don't like traditional romance so you actually can be dateable and only want a big ass bag of chocolate for Valentine's Day even though you hate Valentine's Day because it's stupid and made-up.
14. Fern likes her pint of ice cream sans man. Fuck that. I will cuddle with Jeff while eating ice cream that he so kindly picked up for me because I was feeling sad. It's nice to have a husband who knowingly lets you eat your feelings while cuddling with you and watching Netflix.
15. Again, it's not 19-fucking-50. You don't have to be great at cooking and cleaning, Fern! Our bed hasn't been made in days. So there!
16. Fern wants a relationship so she can have free lunches. What-the-fuck-ever.
17. Fern says she's too picky. No fucking shit. I just... fuck it.
The point is, Fern doesn't fully understand satire. Or dating. Or how much glorifying the single life enrages me (glorifying marriage also enrages me because it's just fucking life).
Showing posts with label Feminism. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Feminism. Show all posts
Thursday, February 6, 2014
Thursday, December 19, 2013
Duck Dynasty, Feminism, and Homphobia
Duck Dynasty was at one point at guilty pleasure of mine. I found the self-proclaimed rednecks endearing. However, as with many shows and movies, an inner battle of a moral and scholarly nature began. The show as funny, but it often came with underlying themes of sexism and occasional homophobia. The media is filled with such messages, and some show even try to fight against them, usually a futile battle that backfires as is the case with 30 Rock. So I stopped watching Duck Dynasty. I don't cease the viewing of all shows with any hit of an ism, but for me, it was too much to look beyond.
I never asked anyone else to stop watching. In fact, I have, admittedly somewhat guilty, purchased Duck Dynasty themed gifts for loved ones. If they choose to watch the show, I'm okay with that because it's just a TV show, and they are adults who can sift through the messages.
As many of you know, however, Phil, the patriarch, has been suspended from the show sharing an anti-gay message during an interview with GQ. I had no idea what an uproar this would cause. If I had, I NEVER would have posted this: "Finally he's called out on it. The show has its funny moments, but it's filled with sexist remarks as well as homophobic remarks" along with a link to an article about it on my Facebook page. But I did. And it blew up in my face.
So, to those who took issue with my post, I'm here to explain a few things. Duck Dynasty is laced with sexist and homophobic messages. This does not mean you should stop watching. I don't actually care if you watch the show. Second, feminism is not offensive. If you take offense to feminism you probably don't know what feminism actually is as a belief and movement. So, first up, let's discuss feminism.
Feminism comes in two forms: mythical feminism and feminism. Mythical feminism is an evil creature. She hates men. She probably hates everything except women because you see, she's a lesbian. Duh. She doesn't shave either. She hates make-up and high heels. She also thinks housework is stupid, and no one should like it. EVER.
Now feminism, on the other hand, is so complex, it can't be explained in one blog post or even an entire semester. For instance, I have a textbook that discusses Liberal feminism, Radical feminism, Marxist and Socialist feminism, Psychoanalytic feminism, Care-Focused feminism, Multicultural, Global, and Postcolonioal feminism, Ecofeminism, and Post Modern and Third-Wave Feminism. That's a lot of feminisms!
There are issues I care about from various sects of feminism (except radical feminism-- I don't have a clear understanding of that particular sect), but at the end of the day, I'm a third-wave feminist. I'm making an assumption here, but I think it's a safe bet if someone tells you he or she is a feminist, they probably are a third-wave feminist. Simply put, he or she seeks equality for women and men. Third-wave feminism is not that simple, of course. Thanks to the work of women in the 70s and 80s, feminism is more inclusive and diverse. So while we all care about equality, we might put emphasis on differing areas. For instance, feminism thinks women should be equals in the workplace, but they also think women should be allowed to be stay-at-home wives and mothers without judgement. One feminist might put more focus on equality in the workplace while another might focus more on the stay-at-home arena, even going as far as to fight for the inclusiveness of stay-at-home fathers. Others might focus more on intersectionality and LGBTQ issues. Some even focus on feminism and Christianity... because feminists can be Christians too! And this is only the tip of the iceberg.
But at the end of the day... equality is what feminism wants. So if you're offended by that... wow.
Now that we have somewhat of an understanding of feminism, here are examples of Duck Dynasty and its unfortunate sexism and homophobic innuendos.
1. "The more make-up a woman wears, the more she's tryin' to hide. Make-up can hide a lot of evil."(Phil)
2. "Take that skirt off, and start acting like a man!" (Jase)
3. "Willie is the only non-woman I know that gets excited about taking pictures."(Jase)
4. "Whether you're talking about bees, dogs, or women, pain can come upon you quickly from either one of 'em." (Phil)
5. "I think we for one with mother issues!" (Phil)
6. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yoA53CYyIJA
I only pulled a few quotes as well a link to a clip (it wouldn't let me embed the video), but they are perfect examples of the sexism and the anti-gay innuendos present in Duck Dynasty. At first glance, these statements may seem harmless, even funny. But they aren't. A common theme in society that is displayed in this show is that women are inherently broken or evil. We need make-up to cover up our wrong-doings, and apparently we are comparable to dogs and bees. There are so many problems I don't know where to begin!
Another common theme is the need for manliness. What many don't understand is feminism actually wants to undermine the common notion of what it means to "be a man" because while it is harmful to women, it's also harmful to men! Who is in charge of defining what it means to be a man? If you think about it, can you really define what exactly it means to be a man? You might say, "Well, it means taking care of your family, being strong, and doing things that men should do." What should men do? What constitutes taking care of one's family? If you ask Jase, it is not Willie's willingness to take pictures because apparently no man should be interested in photography. If men shouldn't take pictures, what should they do? I suppose you could say they should go hunting, but what if they aren't good at it? The idea of "being a man" is ridiculous. It's what makes some men feel bad or even get made fun of because their wives and girlfriends are better with a screwdriver.
As for the homophobia. Do I really have to explain it? I know you aren't stupid. I know you know what Phil means in that clip. He thinks the pet photographer is gay. He also appears to be bothered by the supposed gayness.
So yes, Duck Dynasty does send sexist messages and arguably homophobic messages. As for Phil's interview with GQ... oy vey. The man has a right to his opinion. He can say what he wants, when he wants. But that doesn't mean there aren't consequences. No one knows what was in his contract. Perhaps his words violated his contract. He's also a reality TV star and therefore a representative of his network. A&E has an image to maintain just like every other company. If you go against that image, you can be punished. It's a part of the job.
I never asked anyone else to stop watching. In fact, I have, admittedly somewhat guilty, purchased Duck Dynasty themed gifts for loved ones. If they choose to watch the show, I'm okay with that because it's just a TV show, and they are adults who can sift through the messages.
As many of you know, however, Phil, the patriarch, has been suspended from the show sharing an anti-gay message during an interview with GQ. I had no idea what an uproar this would cause. If I had, I NEVER would have posted this: "Finally he's called out on it. The show has its funny moments, but it's filled with sexist remarks as well as homophobic remarks" along with a link to an article about it on my Facebook page. But I did. And it blew up in my face.
So, to those who took issue with my post, I'm here to explain a few things. Duck Dynasty is laced with sexist and homophobic messages. This does not mean you should stop watching. I don't actually care if you watch the show. Second, feminism is not offensive. If you take offense to feminism you probably don't know what feminism actually is as a belief and movement. So, first up, let's discuss feminism.
Feminism comes in two forms: mythical feminism and feminism. Mythical feminism is an evil creature. She hates men. She probably hates everything except women because you see, she's a lesbian. Duh. She doesn't shave either. She hates make-up and high heels. She also thinks housework is stupid, and no one should like it. EVER.
Now feminism, on the other hand, is so complex, it can't be explained in one blog post or even an entire semester. For instance, I have a textbook that discusses Liberal feminism, Radical feminism, Marxist and Socialist feminism, Psychoanalytic feminism, Care-Focused feminism, Multicultural, Global, and Postcolonioal feminism, Ecofeminism, and Post Modern and Third-Wave Feminism. That's a lot of feminisms!
There are issues I care about from various sects of feminism (except radical feminism-- I don't have a clear understanding of that particular sect), but at the end of the day, I'm a third-wave feminist. I'm making an assumption here, but I think it's a safe bet if someone tells you he or she is a feminist, they probably are a third-wave feminist. Simply put, he or she seeks equality for women and men. Third-wave feminism is not that simple, of course. Thanks to the work of women in the 70s and 80s, feminism is more inclusive and diverse. So while we all care about equality, we might put emphasis on differing areas. For instance, feminism thinks women should be equals in the workplace, but they also think women should be allowed to be stay-at-home wives and mothers without judgement. One feminist might put more focus on equality in the workplace while another might focus more on the stay-at-home arena, even going as far as to fight for the inclusiveness of stay-at-home fathers. Others might focus more on intersectionality and LGBTQ issues. Some even focus on feminism and Christianity... because feminists can be Christians too! And this is only the tip of the iceberg.
But at the end of the day... equality is what feminism wants. So if you're offended by that... wow.
Now that we have somewhat of an understanding of feminism, here are examples of Duck Dynasty and its unfortunate sexism and homophobic innuendos.
1. "The more make-up a woman wears, the more she's tryin' to hide. Make-up can hide a lot of evil."(Phil)
2. "Take that skirt off, and start acting like a man!" (Jase)
3. "Willie is the only non-woman I know that gets excited about taking pictures."(Jase)
4. "Whether you're talking about bees, dogs, or women, pain can come upon you quickly from either one of 'em." (Phil)
5. "I think we for one with mother issues!" (Phil)
6. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yoA53CYyIJA
I only pulled a few quotes as well a link to a clip (it wouldn't let me embed the video), but they are perfect examples of the sexism and the anti-gay innuendos present in Duck Dynasty. At first glance, these statements may seem harmless, even funny. But they aren't. A common theme in society that is displayed in this show is that women are inherently broken or evil. We need make-up to cover up our wrong-doings, and apparently we are comparable to dogs and bees. There are so many problems I don't know where to begin!
Another common theme is the need for manliness. What many don't understand is feminism actually wants to undermine the common notion of what it means to "be a man" because while it is harmful to women, it's also harmful to men! Who is in charge of defining what it means to be a man? If you think about it, can you really define what exactly it means to be a man? You might say, "Well, it means taking care of your family, being strong, and doing things that men should do." What should men do? What constitutes taking care of one's family? If you ask Jase, it is not Willie's willingness to take pictures because apparently no man should be interested in photography. If men shouldn't take pictures, what should they do? I suppose you could say they should go hunting, but what if they aren't good at it? The idea of "being a man" is ridiculous. It's what makes some men feel bad or even get made fun of because their wives and girlfriends are better with a screwdriver.
As for the homophobia. Do I really have to explain it? I know you aren't stupid. I know you know what Phil means in that clip. He thinks the pet photographer is gay. He also appears to be bothered by the supposed gayness.
So yes, Duck Dynasty does send sexist messages and arguably homophobic messages. As for Phil's interview with GQ... oy vey. The man has a right to his opinion. He can say what he wants, when he wants. But that doesn't mean there aren't consequences. No one knows what was in his contract. Perhaps his words violated his contract. He's also a reality TV star and therefore a representative of his network. A&E has an image to maintain just like every other company. If you go against that image, you can be punished. It's a part of the job.
Sunday, July 1, 2012
I Am Me. I Am Skinny. So Fucking What?
I literally just saw this.
My immediate thought? Fuck you.
Why can't I (and all of us "lucky" ladies) be strong too? I may have the body you want, but that's not my fault. Maybe I am lucky, but don't deny me strength--physically or mentally. Don't ever deny me strength because I put up with pins like this, comments like this, and magazine articles like this every day, AND I work out and attempt to eat right, AND I'm not perfect. Obviously. I have a blog almost solely dedicated to baking, but I'm still skinny... and yes, I eat what I bake. The thought of not doing so is absolutely ridiculous! But I digress. I also have heart disease. It runs in my family, and despite my skinny, I haven't avoided it. So, work out I must, and strength I gain AND earn.
I may not deal with what you, the not-skinny person deals with, but I deal with body image issues and criticism too. I have neither ass nor tits, and I would like them very much. But alas, I will never have them. And that's okay. I've come to terms with my body (on most days!). What I have not come to terms with is the criticism. I did not pick my body. So stop telling me I'm "too skinny" or anorexic. And for the love of God, stop telling me I'm lucky. I fucking know that. Rather than tear me down, let me enjoy my body. Besides, once I have kids it's probably going to Hell in a hand basket. So, let me enjoy it. Let me keep my strength. Encourage me to continue my battle with the bastard that is cholesterol. And in return I will continue to not judge you because it's rude, unnecessary, a big fucking waste of time, and quite frankly, against my feminist and equality for all values.
Bottom line: Stop tearing other women down because we can't be truly strong if we continue to sling insults or backhanded encouragement/insults and (or in case you have a strange distaste for women's equality) because it's just plain mean.
Namaste?
My immediate thought? Fuck you.
Why can't I (and all of us "lucky" ladies) be strong too? I may have the body you want, but that's not my fault. Maybe I am lucky, but don't deny me strength--physically or mentally. Don't ever deny me strength because I put up with pins like this, comments like this, and magazine articles like this every day, AND I work out and attempt to eat right, AND I'm not perfect. Obviously. I have a blog almost solely dedicated to baking, but I'm still skinny... and yes, I eat what I bake. The thought of not doing so is absolutely ridiculous! But I digress. I also have heart disease. It runs in my family, and despite my skinny, I haven't avoided it. So, work out I must, and strength I gain AND earn.
I may not deal with what you, the not-skinny person deals with, but I deal with body image issues and criticism too. I have neither ass nor tits, and I would like them very much. But alas, I will never have them. And that's okay. I've come to terms with my body (on most days!). What I have not come to terms with is the criticism. I did not pick my body. So stop telling me I'm "too skinny" or anorexic. And for the love of God, stop telling me I'm lucky. I fucking know that. Rather than tear me down, let me enjoy my body. Besides, once I have kids it's probably going to Hell in a hand basket. So, let me enjoy it. Let me keep my strength. Encourage me to continue my battle with the bastard that is cholesterol. And in return I will continue to not judge you because it's rude, unnecessary, a big fucking waste of time, and quite frankly, against my feminist and equality for all values.
Bottom line: Stop tearing other women down because we can't be truly strong if we continue to sling insults or backhanded encouragement/insults and (or in case you have a strange distaste for women's equality) because it's just plain mean.
Namaste?
Tuesday, October 12, 2010
Tuesdays with Maggie
Saturday, September 25, 2010
Everything's Better at the Beach
And that includes weddings,
especially my wedding.
But that doesn’t mean things
go as planned. Two hours before my sunset beach wedding, I was picking up a
rental car, trying to shove dinner down my throat, and make it back to my mom’s
condo in time to get ready. Sure it was a bare foot wedding, but I still had to
curl my hair, hair spray the shit out of it, squeeze into a dress, and chew
some gum. The gum was of course located at my condo… my father ran down the
beach, upstairs to my condo, burst through the door, and broke into a panic all
over a piece of gum. Of course, it took several minutes before the words gum
managed to leave his mouth, leaving my husband and man of honor to think I was
getting cold feet (I wish I could have seen it, and I wish you could see the
impression my friends do of my father bursting through the door looking for my
man of honor). Despite time constraints and
a parking tag left behind at Alamo or whatever the hell the car rental place
was called, I managed to get ready in time. Now, since I was having
somewhat of a feminist wedding, my niece walked me down the “aisle.”
I thought
it was a great idea… until we actually started walking. She’s five, and I’m
spewing shits and fucks all over the place. I wasn’t afraid to get married. I
just wasn’t ready to wear a dress, read my vows, and listen to Jeff’s vows in
front of thirty people. Why? I knew I was going to cry, and I don’t cry in
front of people. I didn’t even cry during Marley and Me. That’s how good I am.
But not this time- damn the photographic evidence (No, you may not see it).
Nonetheless, I read vows, I
cried, I listened to vows, I cried some more, and I got married. The only thing
missing was Maggie!
Friday, September 3, 2010
It's Still Martin
Sometimes I wonder... well about a lot of things. My current, or at least semi-current quandary is what to do about my last name. I recently had the perfect wedding ceremony with the more than perfect person. He is the love of my life, I mean I did marry him. But the ceremony was a rather feministized (Yes, I made up that word- but I'm allowed to do that because I'm cool) ceremony. There was no obeying or kissing of the bride. There was sand between our toes, a sunset, a few sprinkles, crying during our perfectly crafted wedding vows, a Bible quote for my mom, and kissing of the bride AND the groom.
Now that it's official I still struggle with my name... keep it or hyphenate? I've been a Martin since before I was ever even a blip in my parents' brains. Despite it's lackluster and boring state, I like my last name. It's mine. Sure I can hyphenate and professionally remain my Martin self, but that's just so complicated. It proved complicated when we received several checks for weddings gifts. I guess they didn't get the memo I hadn't changed my last name. Apparently you can't deposit a check if your name doesn't match... even with wedded bliss written proof in hand.
So, one probably thinks well, Julie, fuck it-keep your name. But of course things get even more complicated- they always do with me. Sure the answer is easy... until one starts to think about our child filled future. So I have two choices: 1. Constantly receive checks written out for a person that doesn't exist and deal with a hyphenated mess of a last name. 2. Constantly explain yes, these our my children. Yes, my biological children. No it's Ms. Martin. Yes, they're mine.
Oh, quandaries. At least I have a little while before I absolutely must decide!
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